


If You Love Me, Don't Let Go

by doctornineandthreequarters



Series: Eddie Diaz Week [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Eddie Diaz Week, First Kiss, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No beta we die like Russ, Sacrifice, the firefighter who died during the earthquake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29859807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornineandthreequarters/pseuds/doctornineandthreequarters
Summary: “Eddie, no!”“Buck, we can’t both go over.” He saw a terrified look cross Buck’s face. “You have to…”“No!”---Eddie Diaz Week, Day 5: “Please don’t do this.” + sacrifice
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz & Isabel Diaz, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Eddie Diaz Week [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188710
Comments: 28
Kudos: 255





	If You Love Me, Don't Let Go

“Just hold on!” Eddie gripped onto the rope, watching as the strands slowly broke apart. He still couldn’t believe he had even gotten into this situation, but here he was.

They had been called to the pier because a surfer had been caught in a bad riptide. When they had arrived, the surfer was still being thrashed around by the water, his leg caught in seaweed that had wrapped around one of the tall, wooden supports of the pier. 

The tide was too rough for the team to try to wade or swim to the surfer. So, they needed someone to repel down. It had been decided that Eddie would do it, in case the surfer needed medical attention. Bobby was radioing the coast guard, who was reporting about the weather and how the tides were changing. Chimney and Hen were standing by with the basket for the surfer. Buck was working the winge. 

The rescue had gone relatively smoothly. Sure, the water had been cold and getting the surfer free had been a little tough. But he had done it and sent the surfer up in the basket. He was being lifted back up, Buck radioing him to hold on, when disaster struck. 

Because of the weather, there had been strong winds. Buck had radioed him, telling him the rope was moving a lot. Eddie had needed to grab onto the wooden support that the surfer had been wrapped around, to not be whipped around. But as he was being lifted back up, the rope had stopped abruptly. When Eddie looked up, he saw why. The rope was starting to fray, which was why he was no longer moving. Well, he wasn’t moving up anymore. The wind was blowing him side to side. 

The team had been working to slowly bring him up, but Eddie could see the rope starting to come apart. He was about five feet from the top, when it finally happened.

Buck was about to call something to Eddie when the rope seemed to finally snap. Eddie expected his body to plummet down to the water below, the waves ready to knock him into the wooden supports of the pier. But then he felt a hand grab onto him. He looked up, seeing Buck leaning over the railing, gripping onto Eddie’s arm like his life depended on it. 

“I’ve got you!” Eddie wanted to thank him for his quick thinking, but as he glanced at Buck’s feet, he could see Buck starting to move towards the edge. He didn’t know where the rest of the team was. All Eddie knew was if Buck kept holding onto him, then they were both going down to the water below. 

Buck’s eyes widened, seemingly realizing what Eddie was thinking. 

“Eddie, no!”

“Buck, we can’t both go over.” He saw a terrified look cross Buck’s face. “You have to…”

“No!” Eddie looked down at the water and then back at Buck. He knew Buck would never let go of him. He remembered the exhaustion Buck had put himself through looking for Christopher. So, he couldn’t expect Buck to make the hard choice. 

So, he was going to have to.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered. Buck let out a startled noise as Eddie tried to wrench his hand free. 

“ **Please don’t do this.** ” Buck begged and Eddie thought he saw tears in Buck’s eyes. 

“I have to.” And then trying to block out Buck’s anguished scream, Eddie let go of his hand, plummeting to the water below.

* * *

Eddie’s eyes slowly blinked open. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the obnoxiously bright light above him. But as his eyes adjusted, he realized he was in the hospital. He sat up slowly, trying to remember everything that had happened. But all he could remember was that look on Buck’s face when he had let go. 

He felt terrible for what he had done to Buck. It had made sense to him, to make that sacrifice. But now, looking back, he realized how awful that was of him to do. Especially to Buck, who already had troubling memories related to the pier. 

“Nice to see you awake.” He turned to the left, surprised to see Bobby. “You’ve been out for a few hours.”

“What…”

“Happened after you let go of Buck’s hand?” Eddie winced and Bobby sighed. “Well, unsurprisingly, Buck dove in after you and managed to swim you to shore. You did get a pretty nasty bump from one of the wooden supports of the pier, but the doctor said it’s likely a mild concussion.” Eddie just nodded. He wasn’t surprised that Buck wasn’t there. He was sure Buck was never going to speak to him again after what he had done. 

“When can I go home?” Eddie asked, sighing a little. 

“I’ll get the doctor, but I'm sure it will be soon,” Bobby said, getting up. “Christopher’s okay, by the way.” Eddie nodded as Bobby headed towards the door. “And just so you know, when you’re feeling better, we’re going to have a conversation about you and rope rescues.”

“I understand,” Eddie said. “Thanks Cap.” Bobby nodded and left the room. Eddie sighed again. He was itching to get home. Bobby had said that Christopher was okay and he had to wonder if someone had called his Abuela or Carla. He just had to hope that whatever they told them, that it hadn’t worried Christopher. And Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if the person who had called was Buck.

But then again, he still believed Buck would never talk to him again, so he felt that was doubtful. Either way, Eddie couldn’t wait to go home.

* * *

Eddie walked up to the door of his house. Bobby had driven him home from the hospital, quiet for most of the ride, except for when he told Eddie that when he came back to work (which wasn’t for at least a week because of the mild concussion), they would have that long conversation about him and rope rescues, since this wasn’t the first time that Eddie had done something stupid (Bobby’s words not Eddie’s). And Eddie was sure he deserved that conversation, but he was glad it was going to wait. 

Because all Eddie wanted to do was hug his son and forget about this awful day. 

When he walked in, he could hear people talking. It wasn’t late, which meant it was likely that Christopher was still awake. He sighed, setting his bag down and moving towards the kitchen. He smiled a little, seeing his abuela at the stove, cooking something. 

“Abuela.” She looked up and let out a little sigh before walking to him. She gently touched his cheek, tsking a little as she did. “I’m fine, Abuela. I promise.”

“You better be,” She said, tapping his arm and nodding towards the living room. “You have too much to lose.” He raised an eyebrow and he thought he saw a hint of a smile on her face. “Go sit, I’ll bring all of you something to eat.”

“All?” He asked, glancing towards the living room. He then moved towards the living room, taking in the sight before him. Christopher was sitting on the couch, watching something on the television. He was biting his bottom lip, something Eddie did when he was worried, so he wasn’t surprised that his son had picked up that habit. 

What was surprising, was seeing Buck seated next to him.

“Dad!” Christopher had spotted him, getting off the couch as quickly as he could. Eddie squatted down, just in time to pull his son close for a hug. “They said you got hurt.”

“I’m okay,” Eddie whispered, pressing a kiss to his son’s hair. He glanced up, feeling Buck watch him. But then he got up, quickly disappearing into the kitchen. Eddie sighed. He had expected Buck to be mad at him. He hadn’t expected Buck to be there. 

But he could deal with all of that later, right now, he needed to make sure his son was okay and not worried about him.

* * *

“Are you going to talk to me?” Buck was standing in the kitchen, his back to Eddie who had just come back from putting Christopher down. Buck had been there the whole time, helping his Abuela with dinner and talking to Christopher. But he had yet to utter a word to Eddie. And while Eddie understood, it was starting to frustrate him. “I get that you’re probably mad at me…”

“Mad?” Buck asked, turning to face Eddie. It was then that Eddie really took in Buck’s appearance. He looked exhausted and like he was one step away from breaking down. “I’m….I had you Eddie!”

“Buck.”

“I had you!” He shouted, before hearing it echo off the walls. He glanced towards the hallway, while he sucked in a breath. “I had you Eddie. I could have pulled you up.” Buck shook his head, running his hand down his face, though Eddie was sure he was trying to hide the fact that he was wiping tears away. “I was right there Eddie and...and I looked away and you were just gone.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. Buck wasn’t talking about him anymore. He stepped closer to Buck, who looked away, avoiding Eddie’s gaze. 

“What happened at the pier was not your fault,” Eddie said. “Both during the call and during the tsunami.” Buck sniffed, glancing up at Eddie. There were tears in Buck’s eyes and it nearly shattered Eddie’s heart because he had caused that pain.

“I had you,” Buck whispered. 

“I know,” Eddie said, his hand coming to rest on Buck’s shoulder, his heart beating a little faster, as it always did when he was that close to Buck. “And I also know that you dove in after me.”

“I had too,” Buck said, his voice still quiet. “I couldn’t...the day of the tsunami I couldn’t...but today I could.”

“Buck, you did everything right that day,” Eddie said, sincerity in his voice. He hated that Buck still beat himself up for what happened during the tsunami. And he hated that he was beating himself up about what happened today. “And you did everything right today.”

“I’d never let anything happen to you or Chris.” And Eddie couldn’t help but be taken aback. Because subconsciously, he knew that. But hearing that out loud moved something in him. Something that hadn’t been moved in a long time. 

Instead of finding the right words to respond, he simply closed the remaining space between them, his lips brushing against Buck’s. He felt Buck suck in a breath before wrapping his arms around Eddie’s waist. It was a soft kiss, Buck letting Eddie take the lead, pliant to his touch.

“You are not allowed to do that to me again,” Buck whispered when he pulled away. Eddie chuckled, pressing a gentle kiss to Buck’s lips. 

“Keep that promise in mind the next time you do something reckless,” Eddie said with a smirk and Buck scoffed. “Too soon?”

“Maybe you need to kiss me again to make it up to me.” And Eddie just smiled before pulling Buck back towards him, a smile crossing Buck’s face as he did. 

Eddie was definitely going to make it up to him. For as long as Buck would let him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream with me on my Tumblr?](https://doctornineandthreequarters.tumblr.com)


End file.
